insults page 1

gib

12th January 2012, 10:15 AM

my faves atm are

moronic piece of shit (courtesy mrs gib)

ape faced cockwipe (BoroNut? from one of the first threads i ever read on TR)

fucking idiot (simple but never dates)

what are your current faves?

Magicziggy

12th January 2012, 10:24 AM

my faves atm are

moronic piece of shit (courtesy mrs gib)

ape faced cockwipe (BoroNut? from one of the first threads i ever read on TR)

fucking idiot (simple but never dates)

what are your current faves?

Oh my god... Someone actually married you!

Sorry... Where was I ?

Oh yes...

Insults... I'll get back to you.

gib

12th January 2012, 10:33 AM

:whyyou:

nostrum

12th January 2012, 10:51 AM

Face like a half-sucked mango

Adenosine

12th January 2012, 11:14 AM

Looks like someone set fire to his/her face and tried to put it out with a pickaxe.

Mantisdreamz

12th January 2012, 10:58 PM

I usually just keep it simple with either asshole or idiot.

And then change up the adjective that comes before it. ie. hardheaded asshole, or lazy asshole, etc etc

Actually, I use what-n-idiot a lot in reference to someone

gib

12th January 2012, 11:03 PM

fucking nob

MSG

13th January 2012, 12:56 AM

dumb as dogshit

uglier than a hatful of arseholes

nostrum

13th January 2012, 01:56 AM

Hey MSG! Welcome! :wave: And yes, MSG gives me headaches... :p

Mr. Mellow

13th January 2012, 01:58 AM

If you weren't the unintentional spawn of a cum-guzzling crack-whore who swims out to meet troop ships, I'd say you're the ugliest thing I've seen since your grandmother showed me how much easier it was to change her colostomy bag by flinging one of her sagging tits over her shoulder. But I feel kind of sorry for you, so… you're really not as ugly as you look.

Mr. Mellow

13th January 2012, 01:59 AM

That wasn't meant for you, nostrum... really. Just bad post timing.

nostrum

13th January 2012, 02:00 AM

...sure... :meltdown:

Mr. Mellow

13th January 2012, 02:26 AM

:hug:

nostrum

13th January 2012, 11:30 AM

Cloth-eared bint is one of my all time faves.

I also use 'idiot' with all the trimmings very often. Let's face it, there are so many idiots in this world.

Gawdzilla

13th January 2012, 04:38 PM

"I'd insult you, but you probably wouldn't understand all the big words."

Facetious

13th January 2012, 06:39 PM

twunt

Gawdzilla

13th January 2012, 06:42 PM

http://rationalia.com/z/col40.gif

nostrum

13th January 2012, 10:23 PM

twunt

Ooh I likey, I think I'll be adopting that one!

Fuzzy

13th January 2012, 11:19 PM

I think you mean twont

Facetious

13th January 2012, 11:41 PM

go make some bread, fuzzy

oblivion

13th January 2012, 11:42 PM

ouch

gib

13th January 2012, 11:45 PM

go make some bread, fuzzy

:nada:

Gawdzilla

14th January 2012, 12:00 AM

http://rationalia.com/z/Animation6a.gif

ericv00

14th January 2012, 12:07 AM

wit in need of a whetstone

charlou

14th January 2012, 12:10 AM

This thread needs more mousy.

MSG

14th January 2012, 12:18 AM

This may be my new favourite insult: anti-bacon strumpet (http://newsthump.com/2012/01/13/evil-scientists-plot-downfall-of-bacon/)

Gawdzilla

14th January 2012, 02:05 AM

http://rationalia.com/z/11948907631840510.gif

MSG

14th January 2012, 02:07 AM

also fuck-knuckle

I'm quite fond of that epithet

charlou

14th January 2012, 02:14 AM

^ Best use in Hercules Returns :D

laklak

14th January 2012, 02:53 AM

I'd ask if you just pulled your head out of your ass but I can still see the ring of shit around your neck.

Gawdzilla

14th January 2012, 02:58 AM

"laklak"

/thread

charlou

14th January 2012, 03:05 AM

I'm not very creative with insults .. quite perfunctory really. Fuckwit. Cretin. Arse. That kind of thing. Big woot.

Sarcasm on the other hand .. that has got me into trouble.

borealis

14th January 2012, 03:40 AM

Sometimes people haven't ever figured out I was insulting them. Sucks.

charlou

14th January 2012, 03:42 AM

Sometimes people haven't ever figured out I was insulting them. Sucks.
Just what are you implying? :mad:

borealis

14th January 2012, 03:55 AM

Sometimes people haven't ever figured out I was insulting them. Sucks.
Just what are you implying? :mad:

Recognition at last! :cheer:

Gawdzilla

14th January 2012, 04:00 AM

Sometimes people haven't ever figured out I was insulting them. Sucks.
Just what are you implying? :mad:

Recognition at last! :cheer:
The best insults are the ones where the target suddenly sets up in bed at 3 AM and says, HEY! :hehe:

charlou

14th January 2012, 04:46 AM

Sometimes people haven't ever figured out I was insulting them. Sucks.
Just what are you implying? :mad:

Recognition at last! :cheer:
The best insults are the ones where the target suddenly sets up in bed at 3 AM and says, HEY! :whyyou:

I hate those .. almost as much as thinking up a really sharp comeback ... when the moment has passed :rolleyes:

charlou

14th January 2012, 04:49 AM

actually, not really ... it's just funny :D

Adenosine

14th January 2012, 05:43 AM

http://rationalia.com/z/Animation6a.gif

lol and yoink!

Gawdzilla

14th January 2012, 01:05 PM

http://rationalia.com/z/Animation15.gif

Facetious

14th January 2012, 01:15 PM

Cloth-eared bint is one of my all time faves.

I also use 'idiot' with all the trimmings very often. Let's face it, there are so many idiots in this world.

I didn't know 'bint' was in use outside of England.

nostrum

14th January 2012, 05:09 PM

Australia is English :sadyes:

Facetious

14th January 2012, 06:56 PM

do you have the queen on your money?

Fuzzy

14th January 2012, 07:33 PM

go make some bread, fuzzy

:nada:

I'll do it tomorrow :doom:

nostrum

14th January 2012, 08:15 PM

do you have the queen on your money?

Sadly, yes. :doom:

gib

14th January 2012, 08:21 PM

do you have the queen on your money?

Sadly, yes. :doom:

do you have to pay toward her upkeep?

Zigmen

14th January 2012, 08:23 PM

Adding "wad" as a suffix to a normal word, thus:

Cardiologist becomes Cardiolowad, etc.

Proctolowad is perhaps more universally applied.

Endless fun.

gib

14th January 2012, 08:25 PM

dickwad is definitley due a revival

Facetious

14th January 2012, 09:30 PM

a man your age shouldn't use the word 'dickwad'.

gib

14th January 2012, 09:57 PM

p sure our generation coined it sweetie

nostrum

14th January 2012, 10:06 PM

do you have the queen on your money?

Sadly, yes. :doom:

do you have to pay toward her upkeep?

No although we do have to broadcast her annual Xmas speech

gib

14th January 2012, 10:15 PM

harsh

MSG

15th January 2012, 12:29 AM

do you have the queen on your money?

Sadly, yes. :doom:

do you have to pay toward her upkeep?

No although we do have to broadcast her annual Xmas speech

... and pay for a Governor-General, 6 State Governors and 2 Territory Administrators...

Facetious

15th January 2012, 12:46 AM

p sure our generation coined it sweetie



exactly

Adenosine

15th January 2012, 02:18 AM

do you have the queen on your money?

Sadly, yes. :doom:

do you have to pay toward her upkeep?

No although we do have to broadcast her annual Xmas speech

... and pay for a Governor-General, 6 State Governors and 2 Territory Administrators...

And all the state visits by her and her crotch droppings.

Matt8819

15th January 2012, 02:27 AM

One I like but haven't had the chance to use yet, "He was like a plane crash, but at least the wreckage had some dignity".

Also Bitch-tits

nostrum

15th January 2012, 02:51 AM

welcome! :wave: Good insults!

Fuzzy

15th January 2012, 02:55 AM

I usually use insults taken from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, like hideous cock (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=035.jpg), fat nasty trash (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=034.gif), or fat ugly nunsack (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=024.jpg).

ericv00

15th January 2012, 02:57 AM

go make some bread, fuzzy


Go make some bread on a treadmill.

Mr. Mellow

15th January 2012, 03:59 AM

Read a book

nostrum

15th January 2012, 05:34 AM

Read a book

Have a book read to you

Mr. Mellow

15th January 2012, 07:08 AM

Go to the prison and have your mother read a book to you.

nostrum

15th January 2012, 07:49 AM

Go to the prison and have the warden read you and the rest of your family a book.

Mr. Mellow

15th January 2012, 08:02 AM

Oh yeah? Well... uhm... your mother wears army shoes!

:showed her:

Grumps

15th January 2012, 02:32 PM

You're the very worst sort of person anybody could ever know.

ericv00

16th January 2012, 03:24 AM

You're a dumb head.

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 03:25 AM

If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards.

ericv00

16th January 2012, 03:28 AM

If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards.
Because of the shame of having a dog that looked better than you?

Jerome

16th January 2012, 03:29 AM

There is no insult I can give that relates the glory I am.

:wizard:

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 03:31 AM

If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards.
Because of the shame of having a dog that looked better than you?
Ouch! That hurt! I've never been insulted by a chimp before.

ericv00

16th January 2012, 03:35 AM

If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards.
Because of the shame of having a dog that looked better than you?
Ouch! That hurt! I've never been insulted by a chimp before.
Well, that's miraculous!

Jerome

16th January 2012, 04:09 AM

idiots

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 04:13 AM

idiots
http://rationalia.com/z/Animation30.gif

Jerome

16th January 2012, 04:14 AM

putz

Mr. Mellow

16th January 2012, 04:31 AM

toilet floater

Jerome

16th January 2012, 04:41 AM

booger eater

nostrum

16th January 2012, 05:18 AM

Tosspot

Mr. Mellow

16th January 2012, 05:46 AM

Infectious open-wound maggot.

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 12:28 PM

Irish!

Facetious

16th January 2012, 01:41 PM

wanker

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 01:44 PM

You're so ugly I'm going to slap your mother.

Adenosine

16th January 2012, 01:47 PM

You were born with your mouth open.

Gawdzilla

16th January 2012, 01:50 PM

You're uglier than ten miles of bad road.

Sock Puppet

18th January 2012, 04:40 PM

Syphlitic afterbirth of a Mongolian buttfuck.

Mr. Mellow

19th January 2012, 02:07 AM

You're so ugly, you mother sued your father.

Tribal-Ni

19th January 2012, 04:58 AM

You are the reason I have a middle finger. Go swivel on it.

nostrum

19th January 2012, 10:52 AM

Fwit

Gawdzilla

19th January 2012, 02:58 PM

"I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on you if you were on fire."

(That got me my first warning at RDF. From some admin named Sciwoman.)

Hermit

19th January 2012, 03:33 PM

"I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on you if you were on fire."

(That got me my first warning at RDF. From some admin named Sciwoman.)
You got your revenge in spades, though, didn't you? She'll learn the significance of this old saying soon enough: Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

If you had a second brain, it would be lonely.

Gawdzilla

19th January 2012, 03:36 PM

She is already regretting the move. More for the snow we get here than anything else.

"A walk across your gene pool wouldn't get my shoelaces wet."

nostrum

19th January 2012, 04:46 PM

"I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on you if you were on fire."

(That got me my first warning at RDF. From some admin named Sciwoman.)

:awwgee:

Gawdzilla

19th January 2012, 06:24 PM

"I saw your face in a goatse pix once."

Tribal-Ni

19th January 2012, 09:13 PM

Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining.
Capiche!!!

Mr. Mellow

20th January 2012, 02:43 AM

Your mother sucks cocks in Hell.
(My favorite line from The Exorcist)

Orphia Nay

21st January 2012, 03:43 AM

To an idiot spouting crap:

"Keep pulling shit out of your arse. You might retrieve your head one day."

Mr. Mellow

21st January 2012, 05:42 AM

I hope you get run over by a church van.
(Hate mail to Richard Dawkins. This one just makes me ROFL)

gib

21st January 2012, 02:46 PM

that's what i like about you - fuck all

Jerome

21st January 2012, 03:09 PM

Your mom is soo ugly that she ties a steak to her neck to get the dog to play with her.

:hehe:

Fuzzy

21st January 2012, 08:34 PM

Wait a minute, don't go bringing anybodies mother into this. She ain't here. And if it weren't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. And remember, when you put down one mother, you put down mothers all over the world.

Mr. Mellow

21st January 2012, 08:36 PM

If I want any shit out of you, I'll beat it out of you.

ericv00

21st January 2012, 10:13 PM

Your intelligence is rather lackluster and your appearance is not entirely proper.

oblivion

21st January 2012, 10:38 PM

he means well

divagreen

21st January 2012, 10:43 PM

bless your heart

oblivion

21st January 2012, 10:44 PM

bless your heart
:doom:

Hermit

21st January 2012, 11:55 PM

Wait a minute, don't go bringing anybodies mother into this. She ain't here. And if it weren't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. And remember, when you put down one mother, you put down mothers all over the world.
I propose we add this sentiment to the forum's core values.

You were born so ugly, the doctor slapped your mum.

divagreen

22nd January 2012, 04:02 AM

bless your heart
:doom:

:hehe:

BrettA

22nd January 2012, 04:22 AM

I don't think I'm getting through to you, Seth - try this on for size to
resolve any residual ambiguity:

You're a fool for believing without verifying, an ignoramus for not acting immediately
when you had the information to act and a criminal for helping with a cover-up.
Once all is known, monkeys will look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex
with you. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting and are unreservedly pathetic,
starved for attention and lost in a land that reality forgot. I would rather spend
a month tied up in a sack of used boil dressings than half an hour in your company.
I would rather suck off a lawyer than have you manage any more of my funds. And
I'll have one major pile of funds. Stay on your course and I'll ensure that all
your ex-clients are educated enough to think this way.

Your attempts at constructing creative lies are pitiful. I mean, really,
waffling back and forth between admission of knowledge and forgetfullness
faster than a quartz crystal just doesn't cut it. I can get people to believe
my story about you just because you're just too ridiculous to be made up even
by Pulitzer and Booker Prize double award winners. Maybe later in life,
after you have learned the fundamentals of logic and your memory skills get
roughly on par with a paramecium, you will have more success. True, these
are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that
everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there
are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult.
If I had known that this was your case then I would have never believed you'd
come forward to do what's morally right in the first place. I could have cut
a full 15 months off the end-game. I must solely bear the awful brunt of
incorrectly elevating you to human standards and will go to my grave wondering
how I could ever have been so very wrong about you. Well, at least it seems
others have made similar errors in judgement about you or you would be wallowing
in some back-water pond like where we'll find you in a few years. I wish you the
best of luck in the emotional, moral and ethical struggles that seem to be
placing such a demand on you.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the
effluvia and offal accompanying your nalleged birth into this world. An insensate,
blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts
who sired you and then wished themselves dead themselves in recognition of what they
had done. (Please place in the future tense, since this will apply to the beasts
only after the police and I get finished with you.)

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they
say in Texas, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the
heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. You're a putrescent mass,
a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the
profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. You are a stench,
a revulsion, a big suck on a rotted sour lemon. Your life is a monument to stupidity.

Imagine somebody so stupid that he rails against me based on fabricated and
trumped-up 'evidence' and then continues on a similar course even after he has
been told the facts. Even after some small part of what awaits him has been
devulged. Even fucking after he has lost! And even when he can dramatically
minimize the negative repercussions by doing what's right. Whoa, there's a
concept! Doing what's right and not hopelessly trying to cover-up what the
press (your G&M bud, notwithstanding) will have a field-day with. So amazingly
stupid that he threatens that he cannot allow me to ask about what actually
transpired. Gee, I wonder who should sue whom? So blindingly stupid that
he can't see his way out of the morass he so stupidly got into in the first
place, when it's so simple as telling the truth! Hey, another concept. You
should get familiar with some of these ideas. Truth and doing the right thing!
Maybe even doing the right thing for its own sake. Although in your case, doing
the right thing early enough will have such mind-blowing side-benefits for you
that, if doing it just because it's the right thing to do causes you some mental
anguish, maybe doing it out of selfishness is fine too. So incredibly stupid that
he cannot remain even remotely consistent during a single conversation, much
less between conversations. So unknowingly stupid that he can't comprehend that
a lie-detector test, if it picks up anything at all, will pick up nothing *but*
lies when he is asked about anything relating to our conversations. Wait a
minute, maybe that's it! Maybe I've underestimated you. Maybe you realize
that the activity lines will be so ridiculously flat from the non-activity
of what in most mammals we call a brain, that you'll get away with it. Naw!
Won't happen. You're toast.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in
all that lends character. You apparently have no back bone. You have the
personality of wallpaper, 'though I am loathe to confess that I still like your
analogies. You are dank and filthy, asinine and benighted. You are the
source of all unpleasantness. You and your ilk spread misery and sorrow
wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward, and you are amoung the most
mis-guided of all creatures to have ever squirmed on this or any other planet.
You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you
exist. People the world over will despise everything about you. You are a
bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a
coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum, and I, like most who are unfortunate
enough to know you, and I mean really know you, wish you would go away or die.
And soon there will be many, many more of us who really, really know you. Unless,
of course, you can finally and with great effort, muster up the required resources
to begin truthfully answering the simplest of questions: Why did you ask me, "Why
did you steal?"?. A human would be able to handle this.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious.
You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a
meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile
one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. You have all the appeal of a
paper cut. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And unless
you change very quickly, you'll get far worse. Your daughters will barf at
the very thought of you. You will become more monsterous, an ogre known to
all, a malformity. Lepers will avoid you. You will be universally acknowledged
as vile, worthless, less than nothing. And did I mention you lie poorly?

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock.
You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted
boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You
gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole
ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead
cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb.
You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You
snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing
nausea of your own trite, foolish, incorrect beliefs and intransigent
attitude about changing them for the good.

I just cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. Insect stupid. Vegetable
stupid. Tree stupid. Fungae stupid. Pre-Cambrian stupid. Blue-green algae
stupid. Hell, no! Dead blue-green algae stupid. Geez, I'm still missing it.
Surely no self respecting life-form could be quite this stupid even in death.
This is stupid so base as to be prior to any previously discovered stupid.
Pre-DNA stupid. Pre-RNA stupid. Hey, this could be important! A study of your
stupid might allow us to theorize on what pre-dated RNA. At least in the world
of stupid... Rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. I mean stupid so
stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension
of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun
on Mercury stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have
collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity
stupid. The event horizon on your stupid must encompass more empty space than we
currently know exists. You must emit more stupid in one second than the rest of
our entire galactic cluster emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Pulsar stupid.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some
primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of
a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics
as we know them. The only thing worse than your stupid logic is your stupid ethics.
I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you
may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to
deride your ignorant, accusatory questions and loaded but half baked and unfounded
comments about me, nor your unrealizing, unblinking decision of where you'll
go with this. Oh, and I don't mean where you'll end up with this. That's
way beyond your control, it's apparently even way beyond your comprehension.
No, I simply mean your herd-mentality decision to follow the lemmings in the
first place. Have a great swim. Yuppers; really, really stooopid. Duh.

You're also becoming boring and predictable.

You are not going to do well in the rest of your life, and you will never know why.

But hey! This is only my opinion, so far. TTFN. ;-)

P.S.: From Uncle Al... in sci.physics *Usenet (pre Google Groups)

divagreen

22nd January 2012, 04:43 AM

:shockcorn:

gib

6th September 2016, 08:31 PM

The Sheriff of Shit
fucktrumpet
cumtap

rachmarie

6th September 2016, 08:36 PM

Did gib just resurrect a thread from 4 years ago?

:christyes:

OmicronPersei8

7th September 2016, 03:35 AM

What makes you say that?

OmicronPersei8

7th September 2016, 03:36 AM

Other than the jokesplainin compulsion that is.

nostrum

7th September 2016, 03:51 AM

bump

Jerome

7th September 2016, 04:01 AM

You numbnuts don't know how to play a game properly.

ziploc

16th September 2016, 04:04 PM

Welcome to internets